The Palatski Man
He
reappeared in spring, some Sunday morning, perhaps Easter, when the twigs of
the catalpa trees budded and lawns smelled of mud and breaking seeds. Or Palm
Sunday, returning from mass with handfuls of blessed, bending palms to be cut
into crosses and pinned on your Sunday dress and the year-old palms removed by
her brother, John, from behind the pictures of Jesus with his burning heart and
the Virgin with her sad eyes, to be placed dusty and crumbling in an old coffee
can and burned in the backyard. And once, walking back from church, Leon Sisca
said these are what they lashed Jesus with. And she said no they aren't, they
used whips. They used these, he insisted. What do you know, she said. And he
told her she was a dumb girl and lashed her across her bare legs with his
blessed palms. They stung her; she started to cry, that anyone could do such a
thing, and he caught her running down Twenty-fifth Street with her skirt
flying and got her against a fence, and grabbing her by the hair, he stuck his
scratchy palms in her face, and suddenly he was lifted off the ground and flung
to the sidewalk, and she saw John standing over him very red in the face; and
when Leon Sisca tried to run away, John blocked him, and Leon tried to dodge
around him as if they were playing football; and as he cut past, John slapped
him across the face; Leon's head snapped back and his nose started to bleed.
John didn't chase him and he ran halfway down the block, turned around and
yelled through his tears with blood dripping on his white shirt: I hate you
goddamn you I hate you! All the dressed-up people coming back from church saw
it happen and shook their heads. John said c'mon Mary let's go home.
No, it
wasn't that day, but it was in that season on a Sunday that he reappeared, and
then every Sunday after that through the summer and into the fall, when school
would resume and the green catalpa leaves fall like withered fans into the
birdbaths, turning the water brown, the Palatski Man would come.
He was an
old man who pushed a white cart through the neighborhood streets ringing a
little golden bell. He would stop at each corner, and the children would come
with their money to inspect the taffy apples sprinkled with chopped nuts, or
the red candy apples on pointed sticks, or the palatski displayed under
the glass of the white cart. She had seen taffy apples in the candy stores and
even the red apples sold by clowns at circuses, but she had never seen palatski
sold anywhere else. It was two crisp wafers stuck together with honey. The
taste might have reminded you of an ice-cream cone spread with honey, but it
reminded Mary of Holy Communion. It felt like the Eucharist in her mouth, the
way it tasted walking back from the communion rail after waiting for Father
Mike to stand before her wearing his rustling silk vestments with the organ
playing and him saying the Latin prayer over and over faster than she could
ever hope to pray and making a sign of the cross with the host just before
placing it on someone's tongue. She knelt at the communion rail close enough to
the altar to see the silk curtains drawn inside the open tabernacle and the
beeswax candles flickering and to smell the flowers. Father Mike was moving
down the line of communicants, holding the chalice, with the altar boy, an
eighth-grader, sometimes even John, standing beside him in a lace surplice,
holding the paten under each chin; and she would close her eyes and open her
mouth, sticking her tongue out, and hear the prayer and feel the host placed
gently on her tongue. Sometimes Father's hand brushed her bottom lip, and she
would feel a spark from his finger, which Sister said was static electricity,
not the Holy Spirit.
Then she
would walk down the aisle between the lines of communicants, searching through
half-shut eyes for her pew, her mind praying Jesus help me find it. And when
she found her pew, she would kneel down and shut her eyes and bury her face in
her hands praying over and over thank you Jesus for coming to me, feeling the
host stuck to the roof of her mouth, melting against her tongue like a warm,
wheaty snowflake; and she would turn the tip of her tongue inward and lick the
host off the ridges of her mouth till it was loosened by saliva and swallowed
into her soul.
Who was the
Palatski Man? No one knew or even seemed to care. He was an old man with an
unremembered face, perhaps a never-seen face, a head hidden by a cloth-visored
cap, and eyes concealed behind dark glasses with green, smoked lenses. His
smile revealed only a gold crown and a missing tooth. His only voice was the
ringing bell, and his hands were rough and red as if scrubbed with sandpaper
and their skin very hard when you opened your hand for your change and his fingers
brushed yours. His clothes were always the same—white—not starched and
dazzling, but the soft white of many washings and wringings.
No one cared
and he was left alone. The boys didn't torment him as they did the peddlers
during the week. There was constant war between the boys and the peddlers, the
umbrella menders, the knife sharpeners, anyone whose business carried him down
the side streets or through the alleys. The peddlers came every day, spring,
summer, and autumn, through the alleys behind the backyard fences crying, “Rags
ol irn, rags ol irn!” Riding their ancient, rickety wagons with huge
wooden-spoked wheels, heaped high with scraps of metal, frames of furniture,
coal-black cobwebbed lumber, bundles of rags and filthy newspapers. The boys called
them the Ragmen. They were all old, hunched men, bearded and bald, who
bargained in a stammered foreign English and dressed in clothes extracted from
the bundles of rags in their weather-beaten wagons.
Their horses
seemed even more ancient than their masters, and Mary was always sorry for them
as she watched their slow, arthritic gait up and down the alleys. Most of them
were white horses, a dirty white as if their original colors had turned white
with age, like the hair on an old man's head. They had enormous hooves with
iron shoes that clacked down the alleys over the broken glass, which squeaked
against the concrete when the rusty, metal-rimmed wheels of the wagon ground
over it. Their muzzles were pink without hair, and their tongues lolled out gray;
their teeth were huge and yellow. Over their eyes were black blinders, around
their shoulders a heavy black harness that looked always ready to slip off, leather
straps hung all about their bodies. They ate from black, worn leather sacks
tied over their faces, and as they ate, the flies flew up from their droppings
and climbed all over their thick bodies and the horses swished at them with
stringy tails.
The Ragmen
drove down the crooked, interconnecting alleys crying, “Rags ol irn, rags ol
irn,” and the boys waited for a wagon to pass, hiding behind fences or garbage
cans; and as soon as it passed they would follow, running half bent over so
that they couldn't be seen if the Ragman turned around over the piles heaped on
his wagon. They would run to the tailgate and grab on to it, swinging up, the
taller ones, like John, stretching their legs onto the rear axle, the shorter
ones just hanging as the wagon rolled along. Sometimes one of the bolder boys
would try to climb up on the wagon itself and throw off some of the junk. The
Ragman would see him and pull the reins, stopping the wagon. He would begin
gesturing and yelling at the boys, who jumped from the wagon and stood back
laughing and hollering, “Rags ol irn, rags ol irn!” Sometimes he'd grab a
makeshift whip, a piece of clothesline tied to a stick, and stagger after them
as they scattered laughing before him, disappearing over fences and down
gangways only to reappear again around the corner of some other alley; or,
lying flattened on a garage roof, they'd suddenly jump up and shower the wagon
with garbage as it passed beneath.
Mary could
never fully understand why her brother participated. He wasn't a bully like
Leon Sisca and certainly not cruel like Denny Zmiga, who tortured cats. She
sensed the boys vaguely condemned the Ragmen for the sad condition of their
horses. But that was only a small part of it, for often the horses as well as
their masters were harassed. She thought it was a venial sin and wondered if
John confessed it the Thursday before each First Friday, when they would go
together to confession in the afternoon: Bless me Father for I have sinned, I
threw garbage on a Ragman five times this month. For your penance say five Our
Fathers and five Hail Marys, go in peace. She never mentioned this to him,
feeling that whatever made him do it was a part of what made him generally
unafraid, a part of what the boys felt when they elected him captain of the St.
Roman Grammar School baseball team. She couldn't bear it if he thought she was
a dumb girl. She never snitched on him. if she approached him when he was
surrounded by his friends, he would loudly announce, “All right, nobody swear
while Mary's here.”
At home he
often took her into his confidence. This was what she liked the most, when,
after supper, while her parents watched TV in the parlor, he would come into
her room, where she was doing her homework, and lie down on her bed and start
talking, telling her who among his friends was a good first sacker, or which
one of the girls in his class tried to get him to dance with her at the school
party, just talking and sometimes even asking her opinion on something like if
she thought he should let his hair grow long like that idiot Peter Noskin, who
couldn't even make the team as a right fielder. What did she think of guys like
that? She tried to tell him things back. How Sister Mary Valentine had caught
Leon Sisca in the girls' washroom yesterday. And then one night he told her
about Raymond Cruz, which she knew was a secret because their father had warned
John not to hang around with him even if he was the best pitcher on the team.
He told her how after school he and Raymond Cruz had followed a Ragman to
Hobotown, which was far away, past Western Avenue, on the other side of the
river, down by the river and the railroad tracks, and that they had a regular
town there without any streets. They lived among huge heaps of junk, rubbled
lots tangled with smashed, rusting cars and bathtubs, rotting mounds of rags
and paper, woodpiles infested with river rats. Their wagons were all lined up
and the horses kept in a deserted factory with broken windows. They lived in
shacks that were falling apart, some of them made out of old boxcars, and there
was a blacksmith with a burning forge working in a ruined shed made of bricks
and timbers with a roof of canvas.
He told her
how they had snuck around down the riverbank in the high weeds and watched the
Ragmen come in from all parts of the city, pulled by their tired horses,
hundreds of Ragmen arriving in silence, and how they assembled in front of a
great fire burning in the middle of all the shacks, where something was cooking
in a huge, charred pot.
Their
scroungy dogs scratched and circled around the fire while the Ragmen stood
about and seemed to be trading among one another: bales of worn clothing for
baskets of tomatoes, bushels of fruit for twisted metals, cases of dust-filled
bottles for scorched couches and lamps with frazzled wires. They knelt, peering
out of the weeds and watching them, and then Ray whispered let's sneak around
to the building where the horses are kept and look at them.
So they
crouched through the weeds and ran from shack to shack until they came to the
back of the old factory. They could smell the horses and hay inside and hear
the horses sneezing. They snuck in through a busted window. The factory was
dark and full of spiderwebs, and they felt their way through a passage that
entered into a high-ceilinged hall where the horses were stabled. It was dim;
rays of sun sifted down through the dust from the broken roof. The horses
didn't look the same in the dimness without their harnesses. They looked huge
and beautiful, and when you reached to pat them, their muscles quivered so that
you flinched with fright.
“Wait'll the
guys hear about this,” John said.
And Ray
whispered, “Let's steal one! We can take him to the river and ride him.”
John didn't
know what to say. Ray was fourteen. His parents were divorced. He had failed a
year in school and often hung around with high-school guys. Everybody knew that
he had been caught in a stolen car but that the police let him go because he
was so much younger than the other guys. He was part Mexican and knew a lot
about horses. John didn't like the idea of stealing.
“We couldn't
get one out of here,” he said.
“Sure we
could,” Ray said. “We could get on one and gallop out with him before they knew
what was going on.”
“Suppose we
get caught,” John said.
“Who'd
believe the Ragmen anyway?” Ray asked him. “They can't even speak English. You
chicken?”
So they
picked out a huge white horse to ride, who stood still and uninterested when
John boosted Ray up on his back and then Ray reached down and pulled him up.
Ray held his mane and John held on to Ray's waist. Ray nudged his heels into
the horse's flanks and he began to move, slowly swaying toward the light of the
doorway.
“As soon as
we get outside,” Ray whispered, “hold on. I'm gonna goose him.”
John's palms
were sweating by this time because being on this horse felt like straddling a
blimp as it rose over the roofs. When they got to the door, Ray hollered,
“Heya!” and kicked his heels hard, and the horse bolted out, and before he knew
what had happened, John felt himself sliding, dropping a long way, and then
felt the sudden hard smack of the hay-strewn floor. He looked up and realized
he had never made it out of the barn, and then he heard the shouting and
barking of the dogs and, looking out, saw Ray half riding, half hanging from
the horse, which reared again and again, surrounded by the shouting Ragmen, and
he saw the look on Ray's face as he was bucked from the horse into their arms.
There was a paralyzed second when they all glanced toward him standing in the
doorway of the barn, and then he whirled around and stumbled past the
now-pitching bulks of horses whinnying all about him and found the passage,
struggling through it, bumping into walls, spiderwebs sticking to his face,
with the shouts and barks gaining on him, and then he was out the window and
running up a hill of weeds, crushed coal slipping under his feet, skidding up
and down two more hills, down railroad tracks, not turning around, just running
until he could no longer breathe, and above him he saw a bridge and clawed up
the grassy embankment till he reached it.
It was rush
hour and the bridge was crowded with people going home, factory workers
carrying lunch pails and businessmen with attaché cases. The Street was packed
with traffic, and he didn't know where he was or what he should do about Ray.
He decided to go home and see what would happen. He'd call Ray that night, and
if he wasn't home, then he'd tell them about the Ragmen. But he couldn't find
his way back. Finally he had to ask a cop where he was, and the cop put him on
a trolley car that got him home.
He called
Ray about eight o'clock, and his mother answered the phone and told him Ray had
just got in and went right to bed, and John asked her if he could speak to him,
and she said she'd go see, and he heard her set down the receiver and her
footsteps walk away. He realized his own heartbeat was no longer deafening and
felt the knots in his stomach loosen. Then he heard Ray's mother say that she
was sorry but that Ray didn't want to talk to him.
The next
day, at school, he saw Ray and asked him what happened, if he was angry that he
had run out on him, and Ray said, no, nothing happened, to forget it. He kept
asking Ray how he got away, but Ray wouldn't say anything until John mentioned
telling the other guys about it. Ray said if he told anybody he'd deny it ever
happened, that there was such a place. John thought he was just kidding, but
when he told the guys, Ray told them John made the whole thing up, and they
almost got into a fight, pushing each other back and forth, nobody taking the
first swing, until the guys stepped between them and broke it up. John lost his
temper and said he'd take any of the guys who wanted to go next Saturday to see
for themselves. They could go on their bikes and hide them in the weeds by the
river and sneak up on the Ragmen. Ray said go on.
So on
Saturday John and six guys met at his place and peddled toward the river and
railroad tracks, down the busy trucking streets, where the semis passed you so
fast your bike seemed about to be sucked away by the draft. They got to Western
Avenue and the river, and it looked the same and didn't look the same. They
left the Street and pumped their bikes down a dirt road left through the weeds
by bulldozers, passing rusty barges moored to the banks, seemingly abandoned in
the oily river. They passed a shack or two, but they were empty. John kept
looking for the three mounds of black cinders as a landmark but couldn't find
them. They rode their bikes down the railroad tracks, and it wasn't like being
in the center of the city at all, with the smell of milkweeds and the noise of
birds and crickets all about them and the spring sun glinting down the railroad
tracks. No one was around. It was like being far out in the country. They rode
until they could see the skyline of downtown, skyscrapers rising up through the
smoke of chimneys like a horizon of jagged mountains in the mist. By now
everyone was kidding him about the Ragmen, and finally he had to admit he
couldn't find them, and they gave up. They all peddled back, kidding him, and
he bought everybody Cokes, and they admitted they had had a pretty good time
anyway, even though he sure as hell was some storyteller.
And he
figured something must have happened to Ray. It hit him Sunday night, lying in
bed trying to sleep, and he knew he'd have to talk to him about it Monday when
he saw him at school, but on Monday Ray was absent and was absent on Tuesday,
and on Wednesday they found out that Ray had run away from home and no one
could find him.
No one ever
found him, and he wasn't there in June when John and his classmates filed down
the aisle, their maroon robes flowing and white tassels swinging almost in time
to the organ, to receive their diplomas and shake hands with Father Mike. And
the next week it was summer, and she was permitted to go to the beach with her girlfriends.
Her girlfriends came over and giggled whenever John came into the room.
On Sundays
they went to late mass. She wore her flowered-print dress and a white mantilla
in church when she sat beside John among the adults. After mass they'd stop at
the corner of Twenty-fifth Street on their way home and buy palatski and
walk home eating it with its crispness melting and the sweet honey crust
becoming chewy. She remembered how she used to pretend it was manna they'd been
rewarded with for keeping the Sabbath. It tasted extra good because she had
skipped breakfast. She fasted before receiving Communion.
Then it
began to darken earlier, and the kids played tag and rolivio in the dusk and
hid from each other behind trees and in doorways, and the girls laughed and
blushed when the boys chased and tagged them. She had her own secret hiding
place down the block, in a garden under a lilac bush, where no one could find
her; and she would lie there listening to her name called in the darkness, Mary
Mary free free free, by so many voices.
She shopped
downtown with her mother at night for new school clothes, skirts, not dresses,
green ribbons for her dark hair, and shoes without buckles, like slippers a
ballerina wears. And that night she tried them on for John, dancing in her
nightgown, and he said you're growing up. And later her mother came into her
room—only the little bed lamp was burning—and explained to her what growing up
was like. And after her mother left, she picked up a little rag doll that was
kept as an ornament on her dresser and tried to imagine having a child, really
having a child, it coming out of her body, and she looked at herself in the
mirror and stood close to it and looked at the colors of her eyes: brown around
the edges and then turning a milky gray that seemed to be smoking behind
crystal and toward the center the gray turning green, getting greener till it
was almost violet near her pupils. And in the black mirror of her pupils she
saw herself looking at herself.
The next
day, school started again and she was a sixth-grader. John was in high school,
and Leon Sisca, who had grown much bigger over the summer and smoked, sneered
at her and said, “Who'll protect you now?” She made a visit to the church at
lunchtime and dropped a dime in the metal box by the ruby vigil lights and lit
a candle high up on the rack with a long wax wick and said a prayer to the
Blessed Virgin.
And it was
late in October, and leaves wafted from the catalpa trees on their way to
church on Sunday and fell like withered fans into the birdbaths, turning the
water brown. They were walking back from mass, and she was thinking how little
she saw John anymore, how he no longer came to her room to talk, and she said,
“Let's do something together.”
“What?” he
asked.
“Let's follow
the Palatski Man.”
“Why would
you want to do that?”
“I don't
know,” she said. “We could find out where he lives, where he makes his stuff.
He won't come around pretty soon. Maybe we could go to his house in the winter
and buy things from him.”
John looked
at her. Her hair, like his, was blowing about in the wind. “All right,” he
said.
So they
waited at a corner where a man was raking leaves into a pile to burn, but each
time he built the pile and turned to scrape a few more leaves from his small
lawn, the wind blew and the leaves whirled off from the pile and sprayed out as
if alive over their heads, and then the wind suddenly died, and they floated
back about the raking man into the grass softly, looking like wrinkled snow.
And in a rush of leaves they closed their eyes against, the Palatski Man pushed
by.
They let him
go down the block. He wasn't hard to follow, he went so slow, stopping at
corners for customers. They didn't have to sneak behind him because he never
turned around. They followed him down the streets, and one street became
another until they were out of their neighborhood, and the clothes the people
wore became poorer and brighter. They went through the next parish, and there
was less stopping because it was a poorer parish where more Mexicans lived, and
the children yelled in Spanish, and they felt odd in their new Sunday clothes.
“Let's go
back,” John said.
But Mary
thought there was something in his voice that wasn't sure, and she took his arm
and mock-pleaded, “No-o-o-o, this is fun, let's see where he goes.”
The Palatski
Man went up the streets, past the trucking lots full of semis without cabs,
where the wind blew more grit and dirty papers than leaves, where he stopped
hardly at all. Then past blocks of mesh-windowed factories shut down for Sunday
and the streets empty and the pavements powdered with brown glass from broken
beer bottles. They walked hand in hand a block behind the white, bent figure of
the Palatski Man pushing his cart over the fissured sidewalk. When he crossed
streets and looked from side to side for traffic, they jumped into doorways,
afraid he might turn around.
He crossed
Western Avenue, which was a big street and so looked emptier than any of the
others without traffic on it. They followed him down Western Avenue and over
the rivet-studded, aluminum-girdered bridge that spanned the river, watching
the pigeons flitting through the cables. Just past the bridge he turned into a
pitted asphalt road that trucks used for hauling their cargoes to freight
trains. It wound into the acres of endless lots and railroad yards
behind the factories along the river.
John
stopped. “We can't go any further,” he said.
“Why?” she
asked. “It's getting interesting.”
“I've been
here before,” he said.
“When?”
“I don't
remember, but I feel like I've been here before.”
“C'mon,
silly,” she said, and tugged his arm with all her might and opened her eyes
very wide, and John let himself be tugged along, and they both started
laughing. But by now the Palatski Man had disappeared around a curve in the
road, and they had to run to catch up. When they turned the bend, they just
caught sight of him going over a hill, and the asphalt road they had to run up
had turned to cinder. At the top of the hill Mary cried, “Look!” and pointed
off to the left, along the river. They saw a wheat field in the center of the
City, with the wheat blowing and waving, and the Palatski Man, half man and
half willowy grain, was pushing his cart through the field past a scarecrow
with straw arms outstretched and huge black crows perched on them.
“It looks
like he's hanging on a cross,” Mary said.
“Let's go,”
John said, and she thought he meant turn back home and was ready to agree
because his voice sounded so determined, but he moved forward instead to follow
the Palatski Man.
“Where can
he be going?” Mary said.
But John
just looked at her and put his finger to his lips. They followed single file
down a trail trod smooth and twisting through the wheat field. When they passed
the scarecrow, the crows flapped off in great iridescent flutters, cawing at
them while the scarecrow hung as if guarding a field of wings. Then, at the
edge of the field, the cinder path resumed sloping downhill toward the river.
John pointed
and said, “The mounds of coal.”
And she saw
three black mounds rising up in the distance and sparkling in the sun.
“C'mon,”
John said, “we have to get off the path.”
He led her
down the slope and into the weeds that blended with the river grasses, rushes,
and cattails. They sneaked through the weeds, which pulled at her dress and
scratched her legs. John led the way; he seemed to know where he was going. He
got down on his hands and knees and motioned for her to do the same, and they
crawled forward without making a sound. Then John lay flat on his stomach, and
she crawled beside him and flattened out. He parted the weeds, and she looked
out and saw a group of men standing around a kettle on a fire and dressed in a
strange assortment of ill-fitting suits, either too small or too large and
baggy. None of the suit pieces matched, trousers blue and the suitcoat brown,
striped pants and checked coats, countless combinations of colors. They wore
crushed hats of all varieties: bowlers, straws, stetsons, derbies, homburgs.
Their ties were the strangest of all, misshapen and dangling to their knees in
wild designs of flowers, swirls, and polka dots.
“Who are
they?” she whispered.
“The Ragmen.
They must be dressed for Sunday,” John hissed.
And then she
noticed the shacks behind the men, with the empty wagons parked in front and
the stacks of junk from uprooted basements and strewn attics, even the gutted
factory just the way John had described it. She saw the dogs suddenly jump up
barking and whining, and all the men by the fire turn around as the Palatski
Man wheeled his cart into their midst.
He gestured
to them, and they all parted as he walked to the fire, where he stood staring
into the huge black pot. He turned and said something to one of them, and the
man began to stir whatever was in the pot, and then the Palatski Man dipped a
small ladle into it and raised it up, letting its contents pour back into the
pot, and Mary felt herself get dizzy and gasp as she saw the bright red fluid
in the sun and heard John exclaim, “Blood!” And she didn't want to see any
more, how the men came to the pot and dipped their fingers in it and licked
them off, nodding and smiling. She saw the horses filing out of their
barn, looking ponderous and naked without their harnesses. She hid her face in
her arms and wouldn't look, and then she heard the slow, sorrowful chanting and
off-key wheezing behind it. And she looked up and realized all the Ragmen, like
a choir of bums, had removed their crushed hats and stood bareheaded in the
wind, singing. Among them someone worked a dilapidated accordion, squeezing out
a mournful, foreign melody. In the center stood the Palatski Man, leading them
with his arms like a conductor and sometimes intoning a word that all would
echo in a chant. Their songs rose and fell but always rose again, sometimes
nasal, then shifting into a rich baritone, building always louder and louder,
more sorrowful, until the Palatski Man rang his bell and suddenly everything
was silent. Not men or dogs or accordion or birds or crickets or wind made a sound.
Only her breathing and a far-off throb that she seemed to feel more than hear,
as if all the church bells in the city were tolling an hour. The sun was in the
center of the sky. Directly below it stood the Palatski Man raising a palatski.
The Ragmen
had all knelt. They rose and started a procession leading to where she and John
hid in the grass. Then John was up and yelling, “Run!” and she scrambled to her
feet, John dragging her by the arm. She tried to run but her legs wouldn't obey
her. They felt so rubbery pumping through the weeds and John pulling her faster
than she could go with the weeds tripping her and the vines clutching like
fingers around her ankles.
Ragmen rose
up in front of them and they stopped and ran the other way but Ragmen were there
too. Ragmen were everywhere in an embracing circle, so they stopped and stood
still, holding hands.
“Don't be
afraid,” John told her.
And she
wasn't. Her legs wouldn't move and she didn't care. She just didn't want to run
anymore, choking at the acrid smell of the polluted river. Through her numbness
she heard John's small voice lost over and over in the open daylight repeating,
“We weren't doin' anything.”
The Ragmen
took them back to where the Palatski Man stood before the fire and the bubbling
pot. John started to say something but stopped when the Palatski Man raised his
finger to his lips. One of the Ragmen brought a bushel of shiny apples and
another a handful of pointed little sticks. The Palatski Man took an apple and
inserted the stick and dipped it into the pot and took it out coated with red.
The red crystallized and turned hard, and suddenly she realized it was a red
candy apple that he was handing her. She took it from his hand and held it
dumbly while he made another for John and a third for himself. He bit into his
and motioned for them to do the same. She looked up at John standing beside
her, flushed and sweaty, and she bit into her apple. It was sweeter than
anything she'd ever tasted, with the red candy crunching in her mouth, melting,
mingling with apple juice.
And then
from his cart he took a giant palatski, ten times bigger than any she
had ever seen, and broke it again and again, handing the tiny bits to the
circle of Ragmen, where they were passed from mouth to mouth. When there was
only a small piece left, he broke it three ways and offered one to John. She
saw it disappear in John's hand and watched him raise his hand to his mouth and
at the same time felt him squeeze her hand very hard. The Palatski Man handed
her a part. Honey stretched into threads from its torn edges. She put it in her
mouth, expecting the crisp wafer and honey taste, but it was so bitter it
brought tears to her eyes. She fought them back and swallowed, trying not to
screw up her face, not knowing whether he had tricked her or given her a gift
she didn't understand. He spoke quietly to one of the Ragmen in a language she
couldn't follow and pointed to an enormous pile of rags beside a nearby shack.
The man trudged to the pile and began sorting through it and returned with a
white ribbon of immaculate, shining silk. The Palatski Man gave it to her, then
turned and walked away, disappearing into the shack. As soon as he was gone,
the circle of Ragmen broke and they trudged away, leaving the children standing
dazed before the fire.
“Let's get
out of here,” John said. They turned and began walking slowly, afraid the
Ragmen would regroup at any second, but no one paid any attention to them. They
walked away. Back through the wheat field, past silently perched crows, over
the hill, down the cinder path that curved and became the pitted asphalt road.
They walked over the Western Avenue bridge, which shook as a green trolley,
empty with Sunday, clattered across it. They stopped in the middle of the
bridge, and John opened his hand, and she saw the piece of palaiski crushed
into a little sour ball, dirty and pasty with sweat.
“Did you eat
yours?” he asked.
“Yes,” she
said.
“I tried to
stop you,” he said. “Didn't you feel me squeezing your hand? It might have been
poisoned.”
“No,” she
lied, so he wouldn't worry, “it tasted fine.”
“Nobody
believed me,” John said.
“I believed
you.”
“They'll see
now.”
And then he
gently took the ribbon that she still unconsciously held in her hand—she had an
impulse to clench her fist but didn't—and before she could say anything, he
threw it over the railing into the river. They watched it, caught in the drafts
of wind under the bridge, dipping and gliding among the wheeling pigeons,
finally touching the green water and floating away.
“You don't
want the folks to see that,” John said. “They'd get all excited and nothing
happened. I mean nothing really happened, we're both all right”
“Yes,” she
said. They looked at each other. Sunlight flashing through latticed girders
made them squint; it reflected from the slits of eyes and off the river when
their gaze dropped. Wind swooped over the railing and tangled their hair.
“You're the
best girl I ever knew,” John told her.
They both
began to laugh, so hard they almost cried, and John stammered out, “We're late
for dinner—I bet we're gonna really get it,” and they hurried home.
They were
sent to bed early that night without being permitted to watch TV. She undressed
and put on her nightgown and climbed under her covers, feeling the sad, hollow
Sunday-night feeling when the next morning will be Monday and the weekend is
dying. The feeling always reminded her of all the past Sunday nights she'd had
it, and she thought of all the future Sunday nights when it would come again.
She wished John could come into her room so they could talk. She lay in bed
tossing and seeking the cool places under her pillow with her arms and in the nooks
of her blanket with her toes. She listened to the whole house go to sleep: the
TV shut off after the late news, the voices of her parents discussing whether
the doors had been locked for the night. She felt herself drifting to sleep and
tried to think her nightly prayer, the Hail Mary before she slept, but it
turned into a half dream that she woke out of with a faint recollection of
Gabriel's wings, and she lay staring at the familiar shapes of furniture in her
dark room. She heard the wind outside like a low whinny answered by cats. At
last she climbed out of her bed and looked out the lace-curtained window.
Across her backyard, over the catalpa tree, the moon hung low in the cold sky.
It looked like a giant palatski snagged in the twigs. And then she heard
the faint tinkle of the bell.
He stood
below, staring up, the moon, like silver eyeballs, shining in the centers of
his dark glasses. His horse, a windy white stallion, stamped and snorted behind
him, and a gust of leaves funneled along the ground and swirled through the
streetlight, and some of them stuck in the horse's tangled inane while its
hooves kicked sparks in the dark alley. He offered her a palatski.
She ran from
the window to the mirror and looked at herself in the dark, feeling her teeth
growing and hair pushing through her skin in the tender parts of her body that
had been bare and her breasts swelling like apples from her flat chest and her
blood burning, and then in a lapse of wind, when the leaves fell back to earth,
she heard his gold bell jangle again as if silver and knew that it was time to
go.
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